There was a time where I wanted desperately to talk about the Jets with Mike Greenberg, it was a heady time when Avian flu scared the world, Facebook was a cool new thing and people in the US actually cared for about a second about futbol. So after tuning in this morning, I remember why I stopped listening to Same & Samer YEARS ago.  Much like McKayla, I’m not impressed.  This morning Mike Greenberg loathed all over the 2012 Jets on his morning sports radio show excuse to shill every product ever made during commercial breaks.

Watch the video on ESPN.com, but I’ll FJM all over his comments below.

Greenberg: Here’s the worst thing I can think to tell you about Tim Tebow.  When Tim Tebow is running with the football, that is the most dangerous the New York Jets offense is – he is right now their best weapon.

See what he did there! Normally when people talk about offenses being dangerous, it’s because they can hurt other teams.  In this case, he’s reversed it and wants you to think he’s talking about it being dangerous to the Jets for half a second.  How droll!!  Then he reversed the reverse and sells that it is in fact the most dangerous part of the Jets offense.

Wait … what?!

Greenberg: And I am sooo tired of the people on Twitter defending them, saying [in a dumb guy voice] ‘well Greenie, it’s not like they gameplanned for this game.’

Poor Mikey!  You are so beleaguered by your 161,000 followers on Twitter and the platform by which you speak to millions of people a week!  Somehow people aren’t throwing roses at your feet for information that you put out there into medium that by it’s very nature encourages feedback! Something that’s wholly verboten on your radio show outside of SUBWAY FRESH TAKE POLLS.  What a tough life you lead!!

Hey! Here’s a novel thought Greenie!  If you are sooo tired of people replying to you on Twitter, then maybe don’t put it out there in the first place, or when you do just ignore these annoying people who hang on your every word.  You know those people who help keep a roof over your family’s head whilst you turn around and schill products back to the very people you can’t stand.

Greenberg: Andrew Luck went out there and threw 10-16 for 180 or whatever it is yards.  

Yes, because a rookie quarterback with a coaching staff who is trying to get Luck as many reps before the season starts is exactly the same situation that the Jets are in.

Greenberg: The Jets offense is AWFUL.

Based on the one preseason game you’ve seen?  That’s not an over-reaction at all.  If anything is awful, it’s that terrible book.  Glad you could trade on having sex with your wife in the shower while the kids howl outside or whatever that was all about for a few dollars.

Mike Greenberg – arbiter of taste and discretion.

Greenberg: And Mike Lupica had it EXACTLY right in yesterday’s Daily News.

It’s almost too easy.  Almost.  As Barry says in High Fidelity, “is it unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins??? Is it better to burn out than to fade away?”  What Mike Lupica does now is the equivalent of Stevie Wonder’s “I Just Called to Say I Love You” compared to the “Superstition” of his youth.  His own website doesn’t even respect him enough to link his stuff up properly when clicking on his columnists link from the main sports page.  Read the article in question (with much digging) here.

So for Greenberg to align himself with Lupica shows us how out of touch Greenberg is getting with “his” own team.

Greenberg: The talent has eroded precipitously.

Yes, precipitously. The team has the three pro-bowlers from the OL back from last year, a maturing quarterback in his fourth season, the defense is effectively the same with younger players and upgrades at both safety spots (a position which is an afterthought anyway with Cro and Revis).  So where is the precipitous decline since 2010?  In comes down to three positions: right tackle, wide receiver, and third-down back.  Two of those positions saw their players retire and the third is playing out his last days in Seattle.  Is Wayne Hunter worse than Damien Woody was?  Absolutely yes.  Is Stephen Hill worse than Braylon was in 2010?  Yes, but he’s an HUGE upgrade over Plaxico in terms of career trajectory and in terms of helping Santonio do his thing.  For as great as LT was, his playing days were winding down and somehow 31 teams in the league manage with  third-down backs who aren’t destined for Canton.

In that same time, the running backs have gotten much deeper and younger.  The defensive line has gotten significantly more athletic and more talented.  The safety position has taken on a much more intimidating role.  Yes, according to Mike, this team is in a precipitous decline of talent.

Greenberg: Name me a player on the New York Jets who will be a top ten fantasy pick at his position.

Seriously?  Why not just whip out the Madden 13 ratings and decide the 2012 season champs that way?  SUBJECTIVELY DRIVEN THEORETICAL TALENT IS PARAMOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Greenberg: Their offensive line is bad.

Say that to Nick Mangold’s face. I DARE you, Mike.

Greenberg: The best thing they have, is when Tim Tebow goes back to pass has no one open and starts running.  (wagging finger) And all of you defending him on Twitter with this, are making me nuts. 

You are a sushi-grade idiot.

Golic: This team is going to take a step back.  I don’t think there’s any doubt about it.

I do! I think there’s a doubt about it!  They went 8-8 in a meltdown season!!!  This year, the Jets have a pretty nice schedule, the routine turnover and an influx of depth at most positions with the exception of offensive line has them taking a step back?  OK then.

Golic: They say they want to be a ground and pound, I don’t think they have enough to do that.

Four OL starters back from the 2010 team.  A running back playing in a contract year.  Two other running backs who have had time to season as veterans.  Extra blockers to be brought in on plays and a new blocking back who averages five yards on the ground and has an arm to throw the deep ball?  I feel like I’m the only one taking crazy pills!

Greenberg: By the way, how much weight has [Tebow] gained?  He is HUGE!!!

What is hell is this?

Soccer mom gossip time at the Westport Starbucks?

The team MADE him bulk up for the season.  It’s a pretty good indication they want him able to take a beating RUNNING the ball.  You remember that thing you say he’s so dangerous at?

Greenberg: [Tebow] is going to be the quarterback of this team … he’s the best option they have. It’s not a referendum on Sanchez, it’s a referendum on the players [Sanchez] has around him.

Now back to more contrived hackiness to tell you about Nutrisystem/P90X/Subway!